The Weightwatcher Wonder

So, like, I understand there's been a lot of comments, compliments, and complaints about my weight loss trip. The thing that surprises me the most about this trip that people have witnessed was that people would see me eat and wonder how I did it. No one seems satisfied with the answers of 'eat right' and I remember having a long conversation about this with one of my friends who basically interviewed me on the methods I used to get to this point.

Basically, you're going to hear the same things that you hear from magazines with weight-loss tips and books that have long lists of nutrition facts, food journals, and counting calories. It's not that I don't think they don't work. They probably do but you and I both know that we're too lazy to fill those things out, and really if we did, we're paying $20 for a workbook on weight loss and then find that we left it at the gym and it's gone the next day. I think the real success is just creating boundaries and then working as freely as possible in those boundaries if that makes sense.

So here are some rules that I went by, that I didn't realize I went by, until my friend asked about what I did instead of the routine accusations and questions about my weight loss.

1) PATIENCE: A lot of people like to think this all happened within a few days. This process took me 10 months of endless struggle. I went from having 4 full meals a day of having pancakes, syrup, and french toast for breakfast, and hamburgers, fries, pizza, and ice cream for lunch, dinner, and a midnight meal. I was eating probably 4000 calories mind you, so if you aren't losing weight drastically, it's probably because you didn't each as much as I did. Don't expect results in five days. Expect it more in five months. I won't lie. It was horrible. I got fast food withdrawals. I got hunger cravings because I was so used to having super-size onion rings and Wendy's frostings at 1AM and having pizza and cookies and soda for dinner. To transition from that to fruits, vegetables, rice, fish, and grilled chicken felt smooth like water at first, and then you hit the rocks. You just keep telling yourself 'do this for one more day' and tell that to yourself everyday.

2) EAT UNTIL YOU'RE FULL: I cannot stress this enough. As long as you're eating the right stuff, eat until you're full. The biggest mistake that people make is that they cut back during meals and then completely overshoot later with snacks and deserts of gargantuan proportions then wonder what went wrong. I remember one of my friends telling me they haven't eaten a meal in three days yet gained 3 pounds. But when I saw mountains of empty jumbo-size bags of potato chips in her room, she said those didn't count because they were snacks. You may think it doesn't count, but your stomach says it does. Then you have friends who eat minute portions of their salad during dinner but then take a trip over to Cold Stone and try to order the smallest sizes without realizing that even the smallest Cold Stone portion is at least 500 calories, thus not only cancelling out the salad they tried to skip on, but made up for their lunch as well. Which reminds me...

3) NO SALADS: I don't like salads. There are only two places where I'd EVER order a salad because I liked how it tasted and that's the Bread Basket's chicken caesar salad and Plutos, and I hardly ever eat at either place. I eat out often at Chinese restaurants and none of them serve salads. Salads aren't satisfying. They don't fill you up and you have the greater tendency to make up for the calories with something else. Whenever I go out, I get lots of seafood. I fill up on seafood, potatoes, rice, and steamed vegetables because I like my food hot.

3) COMPROMISE: Steam/Grill it. Don't fry it. It amazes me when people are amazed that I eat meat. OK, so recently I stopped taking pork and beef because of the whole hormone issue and honestly, it makes decisions on food much easier. However, that was just recently, so even during the time I took beef and pork, I still didn't gain weight because I didn't eat it fried. Meat is suppose to be as filling and low-calorie as fruits are. The problem is when you add lots of cooking oil, "special" sauces, bread, and flour to it that suddenly a gigantic chunk of 200-calorie fish fillet becomes a 1100-calorie fried entree + mayonnaise. And if you gotta have that juicy hamburger, in the words of Tyra Banks, you can have the hamburger but take the bun off. Even when I'm forced to take trips to Chipotle or McDonald's, I order a burrito bowl (no wrap) or I order a double cheeseburger and skip the fries.

4) SKIP THE SNACKS: Even if you get hunger cravings, eat a hunk of fruit. I take an apple, banana, or pear as a fruit. I prefer pears though. A Snickers bar doesn't make a filling snack but I know a gigantic apple would, plus it's half the calories of a Snickers bar. Buy a variety of fruits and buy them in large quantities so you know that the expiration date on those things is coming fast, forcing you to become more stingy on spending extra money on candy bars and milkshakes. The variety is to ensure you won't get bored and can have something different every day.

5) FRUITS FOR BREAKFAST: Mind you, I absolutely miss french toast which is the worst food item that can be ordered at Denny's. I love waffles and pancakes and the gooey syrupness that it makes me sad just thinking about it. However, I have stomach issues. Big stomach issues that my doctors had concerns several times that I might have had some precursor to colon cancer due to constipation. That helped made the push towards a healthier, high fiber diet. Fruits are conventionally more thought of as a snack rather than a meal but for me, I take fruits as breakfast. I take a lot of them. When I say a lot, I mean that I go to Safeway, buy a cantaloupe (you know, the whole thing), cut it open and eat the entire thing with a spoon. That's my breakfast. You'll be as stuffed as a marshmallow until lunchtime comes around. The last time I looked it up, a cantaloupe was no more than 250 calories. How's that for a power-sized yummy, guilt-free and healthy breakfast. This is why I encourage buying lots of different kinds of fruits in large quantities. That's a lot of perishable food you got to chow down.

6) DRINKS: A lot of empty calories come from drinks. I stay away from fruit juices because fruits are always better. Smoothies don't make good snacks or drinks. If I take a smoothie, usually it's for a meal and I order one of those power sizes and drink it up for lunch or breakfast. I loved soda though so usually I take a lot of diet soda, which I know is still bad for me but I feel that if I've given up on so many foods already, I deserve a break like this. And besides, I found that once I stuck to diet drinks, it made it easier to "cope" with not having junk food because I still felt like I got some false access to it. You also will begin to realize that after taking diet soda, it's hard to go back to regular soda because it's way too sweet and you don't get the sugar high. Tea is very good. I tried to go with coffee but I always end up choosing tea again. Compromising is key. I couldn't give up soda, so I took diet instead.

7) FORGET CARBS/CALORIES/FAT NUMBERS: Whoever said to eliminate carbs from your diet has got it all wrong because fruits are HIGH in carbs. Breads are too. I love bread. Do you know what bread I love the most? The Wonderbread in all of its fake white fluffy mess. But I want to be healthy too so I trade it up with multigrain and whole wheat. It doesn't taste as wonderfully fake as Wonderbread, but it'll do. Compromise is key. If you can't do that, your diet is too rigid and you'll eventually collapse from the ominous junk food withdrawals.

8) TIMING: I eat about every 5 hours but because of work, my schedule often gets thrown off so this is what my day often looks like. I have fruits for breakfast and the best part about that is that you can choose the amount you want in relation to how soon you're having lunch. Not having lunch for a long time? Scarf down that entire pineapple. Did you wake up late and might be having lunch in about three hours? Just have an apple and some berries. Lunch and dinner are pretty much free for all as long as it's the right foods. I don't need to list what the right foods are here because honestly, everyone knows what they are. Oh, and I usually clear my plate so that pretty much stomps out the idea of eating less means losing more.

That's about it I think. People have told me that when they went healthy, all of their junk food and doughnut cravings stopped and they became totally disinterested. Maybe they're telling the truth but those cravings have never stopped for me. Whenever I walk by a food court in the mall and see the golden arches smiling at me, I want to say yes, have that super-sized please. I gave up my favorite foods in the process: french fries, french toast, Starbucks strawberries and cream + whip cream, potato chips, sponge cakes, bread bowls, and ice cream pizookies. It wasn't easy and it wasn't fast. A lot of pouting and complaining was involved in which I had meals filled with fish, vegetables, and rice while everyone else had pizza and pasta and stare at me like I was insane. Then later they asked how I did it.

If there is anything to take away from this, it's a couple things.

It's not about eating less, it's actually about eating more but making sure it's the right thing you're eating. I can eat 3 waffles and still have another. But I can't get pass a cantaloupe that has the caloric count of 1 waffle.

Compromise is a huge deal. It can allow you to succumb to your junk food withdrawals without feeling guilty and without there being any consequence. Take the In-N-Out hamburger but have the spread replaced with ketchup. Take the diet soda instead of regular soda. Instead of candy, take the fruit.

Variety: It helps you keep up the discipline and patience with seeing the excess weight go away. Having fruits as a snack gets boring unless if you have a different one everyday.

It's also good to imagine how you'd be feeling after you're finishing what you ate. Would you feel good about it? Guilty? Satisfied? Restless? If you want that brownie that badly, picture how you'd feel once you've gone through the whole thing. That often helps with the cravings and encourages you to have the fruit instead.

If you want to lose it, you cannot go on a diet. This is lifestyle change. This temporary diet adventure has nearly taken a year to accomplish. And because I don't follow this salad and skipping-meal nonsense, this is a way of eating I'll have to stick to for the long run. This is good-bye to Burger King French toast sticks for a very, very long time.

So if anything, yes, you can still eat meat, appease some of your junk food cravings, and actually skip trips to the gym, as long as you're eating not less but better. Those were the steps I followed without becoming a frustrated soup-and-salad-addict who gives up again on their 28395256th diet.

The Story of Jesus Christmas

I haven't posted an entry on this for a really long time. I haven't even gone to church for an even longer time. But for some reason, I felt absolutely compelled to go because of a promise I feel I made with God that if He can answer my prayers, the least I could do is give Him an hour of my day. It was worth it because I saw the people who I miss so much and I will see most of them again on Tuesday. And it kind of inspired me to go through the meaning of Christmas again and trying...TRYING to take the focus away from my self-absorption and insecurities and think about someone else for once.

Even though the lead pastor of the church spoke in regards to Tiger Woods' sins and Augustine's repentance, Pastor Chen also did an amazing job establishing the political and social atmospheres of Rome at the time Jesus was born--something that most pastors neglect. I'm not sure why that was important to the sermon, since I had to leave early but I think it's to get a glimpse of the challenges Joseph and Mary faced at the time.

I like the book of Luke. Luke was a doctor who likes guts, and you know that I like doctors regardless of their admiration for human guts.

So Luke starts out like this where he thinks all things are possible through Christ and through menopause. Apparently, Herod's priests are allowed to have wives so Zachariah took this opportunity to try and make some offspring but he was too late. He married this lady named Elizabeth who was less like a queen and more like my Mom whose hot flashes are impairing her reasoning ability to trust in the Lord. Then God sent super-angel Gabriel who brings some good news and some bad news to Zachariah.

Gabriel: I'm Gabriel. I bring you some good news and some bad news. What would you like to hear first?
Zachariah: Good news.
G: Good news is, you're going to have a son named John.
Z: What's the bad news?
G: He's gonna be sober for the rest of his life.
Z: Cool!
G: And you're going to be blind until he's born.
Z: Oh.
G: And mute.
Z: Fmylife.

Moral of this conversation: This is what you get when you believe God can't overcome menopause. And to add more salt to the wound, Luke says that Z "remained dumb" (1:22) when he left the temple. How awkward must that be. You question a superangel, he tells you that you're going to be blind and mute, and then Luke calls you stupid. But somehow despite all these physical barriers, Z gets laid and E is preggers. Everyone is happy except for John who will never have the same 21st b-day experience that I had.

Now the real story begins when superangel Gabriel sparkles in front of Mary the Virgin and another conversation goes on. This time, with slightly better results.

G: Z and E just had a wonderful baby and I'ma let them finish but Mary, you gonna have the baddest Baby of all time!

And like E, M goes:

M: Dude, I'm a virgin. Joseph ain't gettin' any of this yet. But if God can overcome menopause, then I don't need a man to make a baby. The last time I heard, all you need is a birth canal and you're all set.

So I guess M decided to visit E to see the menopause miracle causing John's fetus to leap all around making the Bible very, very pro-life. Every woman in the house then sings songs of conquering menopause and the decreasing role of males in genetic recombination. Within a couple verses, John is upgraded from a leaping fetus to a sober baby. Z is absolutely overjoyed as he can now get laid without being dumb, blind, and mute. I'd be praising God too and never doubt that something so silly like estrogens could stop God from making leaping fetuses of joy.

Fast forward to Luke chapter 2, Caesar Augustus is absolutely fed up with uneducated Roman citizens so everyone needs to go home and stay put for a while as the Caesar tries to sort out his Roman migraine. Joseph, who has a legacy more impressive than the Kennedys, is one (un)lucky guy who's fiancee can become pregnant without him actually making any physical contact with her. M's water obviously broke at the worst time possible as they had to wrap the Baby in whatever they could find in a place where livestock reeked.

Now, this is the baddest Baby of all time and there is absolutely no way that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were going to upstage these baby pictures. A bunch of angels then decided it would be a wonderful idea to ambush a lucky group of shepherds into visiting Jesus. M is really a good sport and all about letting strangers sing songs of joy to her Baby but I would be too if there were a bunch of angels standing outside ready to trumpet any human being into the ground.

This is the story of Christmas. The wise men didn't come until a year or two later but I'd rather be a shepherd. Think of how wonderful it would have been to see the God of the Universe looking like the most adorable Pea in a Pod. I would be moved and take care of sheep for the rest of my life. I like eating them, but being around them is just as much fun.

Playlist

OK, so I know I haven't updated in a while but I couldn't help but get this off my chest. There have been a few songs lately that I keep placing on repeat when I drive to work or to school elsewhere that I am absolutely in love with right now. Most of them are the typical pop music but I don't feel the least bit ashamed to admit that I love this stuff. Music is music to me, and I don't believe in this whole business that Montyoum puts into words so well.

"Throughout my life I've dealt with the issue that if one person likes something enough. There will always be people who will want to contradict that. It's a reflex mind you. But to me the idea of disliking something because it's popular is just as bad as liking something because it's popular. Why not genuinely trust your natural reaction?

...But this also bring ups the question of individuality. People take solace in that they're taste for something is a symptom of their individuality. Therefore when something they like becomes popular, this is somewhat threatening to their identity. I guess a bitter question would be, would your tastes change again if the thing you liked then became popular as well?"

I recall back in high school when I had people tell me that the music that I liked to lisened to were things they used to like...until it becam popular. Oh please I feel like I'm at an age now to make up my mind.

I honestly cannot bring myself to like the Black-Eyed Peas song, "Boom Boom Pow" no matter how many times I made myself listen to it. No matter how many times you make me listen to 3OH!3, no I don't want to do the Helen Keller and talk with my hips. However, I love nearly every single song that Lady Gaga and Taylor Swift releases and that hasn't changed since they hit the radio.

It's just I remember a time when I was insecure with the music that I listened to. I made myself listen to and purposedly sought for music that I knew other people would not be able to tolerate because that was my way of trying to push my individuality on other people's faces. The whole 'see, I'm not like you all' sort of pushiness got me into trouble with some people and now, I'm just content to what I have.

According to people who think my taste in music is rather questionable because I don't know the names of every single indie group in the universe, this is my playlist for now that I can't seem to put down and why.

1. Eminem - Beautiful

I remember the first time I heard this song, I felt my heart race because I felt like every part of this song spoke to me. I'm so glad Eminem made his comeback and this has to be my favorite song off of his album. I don't know why he didn't craft a song like this sooner but I absolutely am in love with this song and put myself into every word of his lyrics. It's amazing how well he pulls this song together, which I thought was going to be extremely corny but it ended up not being that way at all. In my opinion, anyone who thinks Eminem is overrated and this song is too sappy for them, does not have a heart. But I think if you're beyond 40 years of age (like my parents for example), then I understand you calling this rubbish.

What made me love this song so much is that it takes that good old cliche of walking for a mile in someone else's shoes and he puts a fantastic spin on it. Not to mention, the Rock Therapy samples that Eminem places in the beginning and at the end of the song really struck a nerve in me because you felt those words be so true. I haven't had a song like this connect in the longest time.

Lately I've been hard to reach
I've been too long on my own
Everyone has a private world
In which they could be alone
Are you calling me
Are you trying to get through
Are you reaching out for me
Like I'm reaching out for you

2. Keri Hilson, Kanye West, Ne-Yo - Knock You Down

I really did not like this song the first 80 times I heard it. And now suddenly in the last 3 days, I adore this. I really loved Ne-Yo's solo in this song and for when I think about this song, it felt much more desperate than any Pussycat Dolls' ballad for some reason. This was kind of strange since Knock You Down is much more upbeat than ballads that sing for a desperate, unstoppable love, this felt much more deep. Keri Hilson delivers once again.

Ne-Yo's part was my favorite. I love his analogies and the insert of "Miss Independent" in his solo.

I've never thought I
Would hear myself say (ooh)
Ya'll gon head
I think I'm gonna kick it with my girl today (Kick it with my girl today)
I used to be commander and chief
Of my pimp ship flyin' high (flyin' high)
Til I met this pretty little missle, that shot me out the sky (ohhh shot me out the sky)

(Hey) Till now I'm crashin, I don't know how it happened
But I know it feels so damn good
Said if I could go back, and make it happen faster
Don't you know I would baby if I could
Miss independent (ohh, to the fullest), the load never to much, she helpin me pull it
She shot the bullet that ended that life
I swear to you the pimp in me just died tonight

And the part that I liked that Keri Hilson sings is:

"If it hurts
Better make it worth the fall"

I'm not sure why, but those 2 lines were the best of hers in that song.

And Kanye's part only stood out to me at the beginning in which he goes:

Keep rockin', and keep knockin'
Whether you Louis Vouiton-ed up or Reebok-in'
You see the hate, that they're servin' on a platter
So what we gon' have - dessert or disaster?

3. Cobra Starship - Good Girls Go Bad (feat. Leighton Meester)

Not only can Leighton Meester act, she can sing. Well. I love the flirtiness in this song and the whole battle of the sexes that goes on between each of their solos. And it's the kind of battle and flirtiness that hints at harmless boy-girl fun but without the overt sexuality that is way too common in all of pop music today.

4. Lady Gaga - Second Time Around

I know, I know, this just leaked onto the Internet, like, today. However, as much as I am not particularly fond of Lady Gaga's flaunting promiscuity, I really admire her talent. She has an amazing sense of style and she can do no wrong in terms of musical performance, producing her music, writing her own music, and making her someone exciting to watch. I always love seeing pictures of her out and about town because her sense of style is so wonderful and I wished would be mimicked more often even if she isn't wearing pants. I could care less.

This song sounds different from her other music but it's nonetheless great and I love all the little intricacies and provocative lyrics she has. I guess I can't make up my mind about her.

5. Beyonce - Halo

I don't know what it is about this song. I stopped listening to it for a while. Then, the other day, this song started playing on my iPod and I didn't realize this was the following song. I fell in love with it again because there's something that's inspiring in a larger-than-life kind of way. Maybe it's Beyonce's voice or the music in the background or both.

6. Mr. Hudson - Supernova (feat. Kanye West)

OK, so I know this leaked today too but as of far, I've already heard this song 9 times in a row and I'm beginning to like it more and more each time. British singers don't know how to make bad music. It seems like every single song they produce is unable to let me down. I don't know why I don't get into British music more often. They even make Kanye West sound better than usual and I am a Kanye fan. This is his 2nd time on the list already and I haven't even gone through my entire playlist yet.

7. Michael Jackson - Man In The Mirror

This Michael Jackson week so obviously there's a no way I could not place something of his in here. I'm embarassed to admit that I didn't know this song was a Michael Jackson song. I remember hearing this a lot as a kid when my mom drove me to elementary school. I remembered the words to this song and sang it. Then, just two days ago just before I bought the Essential Michael Jackson, I was wondering why this song and not something else like "Thriller" or "Smooth Criminal" were not #1. Then, when I clicked for this song, I was thinking "OMG, this was a Michael Jackson song?"

8. Jackson 5 - I Want You Back

One more MJ song. I can't stop singing this inbetween helping out patients at CVS/pharmacy and singing this in the shower or whenever I'm bored. I don't even like this song that much but this is a playlist of songs that have been stuck in my mind. I haven't been able to stop singing this song this entire week.

9. Paramore - That's What You Get

Don't get me wrong. I don't like Paramore. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's the vibe of the whole band I received when I watched the Misery Business music video. However, I think Rock Band was responsible for me falling in love with this song and to this day, remains as my favorite and only Paramore song I like. Well, Crushcrushcrush was alright, but That's What You Get is the only thing that keeps me from dismissing Paramore as a whole.

10. Meese - Next In Line

There must be something special about today because I am suddenly flooded with a bunch of music that I really click with. Yes, I found this off of iTunes free single of the week but that doesn't change the fact that I really enjoy this band. I might look into them later but as for now, the vocals are very calming. I'd love to find this guy and ask him to sing me to sleep :).

How Asparagus, Models, and Martin Yan Came Together

Today ended up probably being one of the best days I’ve ever had with my family in the longest time. Instead of going home, this time, they came up mainly to help me take most of the stuff from my room back home. However, I was able to inform them about the Stockton Asparagus festival in downtown Stockton, which was going on only this weekend, and the reason why we should all go there is because it was something special like Gilroy’s garlic festival.

I had to admit that the day started out badly at first. There was a miscommunication between me and my dad over the directions on which parking lot he should park at. He gave up trying to understand my directions and ended up parking across campus over at the John B. parking lot that when I got there, my mom wanted to go to the bathroom. So, I had to take them to the University Center’s bathroom, which, to my surprise, they seemed to not recognize at all. My brother had never seen the University Center so he was amazed by how nice my school seemed all the sudden. My parents said the food looked great, but of course, they don’t know how many times the dining hall food has sent me to the bathroom.

Then came the whole arguments of how my brother wanted to go to CQB City for Airsoft and there was realistically no way we could have dropped my brother off, gone to the Asparagus festival, and picked him up again. Insert lots of arguing, yelling, and defensive statements about miscommunication, misdirection, and mistranslation—I felt like this day was going down the drain. I had only met up with my parents on campus for only ten minutes at this point.

Things got even messier when I wasn’t sure how to get there so I pretty much instructed my dad how to get there all from memory. We turned the wrong way once but we figured it out really quickly and turned around on El Dorado Street. We found the place, but the $10.00 parking was what got to my mom. It was funny how some of the lots had signs that said they were full but the lots clearly had room for 10 or more cars. Oh well, I wasn’t complaining since we only had to walk an extra 20 feet. On the way walking out of the parking lot, a lady from a larger group of people approached us and asked if we wanted to buy a ticket from her that she had received ahead of time. She said she got it for free but was going to sell it to us for $5 to get in. At first, we all thought it was a scam but when I looked at it, it looked legit, and I told my parents we’d be saving $7 (adult admission was $12) if we took it from her so we paid her for it.



While we were standing in line at the Asparagus Festival waiting to have our bags checked and buying our tickets, I noticed the girl in front of me had this awesome amazing red hair. I got really excited for some reason and I wondered if her friends/family noticed that I was taking one or two pictures of her hair but I said it as obviously as I could that I really liked her hair and want to get my hair to look like hers if I let it grow out.



When we went inside, we were about to split off. My dad is extremely family-centered whereas my mom isn’t really at all. I told my parents that I was really hungry and wanted to get food but my mom wanted to go see the home and kitchen sections of the festival. She and my brother suggested that we split off into two groups and eat on our own while my dad and I said we should eat together as a family because this is what we came for. So, we head on along to the ticket booths where we thought we were going to eat a tons load of asparagus-related foods. Because I volunteered yesterday, I know that each of the asparagus food items cost 6 tickets, and each ticket was $1.00. My brother and I lined up and ended up spending $30 on tickets since the deep-fried asparagus that every other person was carrying around seemed so little.

Because I volunteered yesterday at the festival with two wonderful people from Alpha Phi Omega at a station that served asparagus burritos and beef asparagus sandwiches, I received feedback from two upset customers and a guy friend who I gave one of the burritos I had that the food tasted extremely bland. My brother and my dad initially wanted to try it, but I told them about the feedback I received from yesterday so we decided to go for what the festival was all about: deep-fried asparagus. I forgot to take pictures in the most important part of the festival, so there are no pictures of us eating the asparagus but this is what they looked like.


Credits: Entitee and Queenkv @ Flickr

My brother and I happened to really enjoy it, especially with the Ranch dressing. My dad thought it was alright, but my mom ended up hating it and saw it was nothing special. We sat in a shaded area that was extremely crowded. That worried me because I knew how my parents felt about wanting to be served and not sitting in the grass with everyone else. It wasn’t long though that with two orders of deep-fried asparagus, my brother and I ended up feeling bloated, which was bad since we had 18 tickets left, which could only be spent on asparagus-related items and drinks.

At this point, we agreed we should split off into our two groups. My brother and I decided to head to the boating area, and it was interesting having my brother ask questions about downtown Stockton, and thought the place looked nice. Obviously, he knew it was from a visitor’s point of view because the festival sort of covers up the ghetto-ness which is Stockton.

We wandered into this area where instead of rows of seats like you would find in a normal concert setup, there were rows of haystacks. We were just twenty minutes too late to have witnessed an asparagus eating competition where we heard that the winner ate about 9 pounds of asparagus! That was insane to hear since my brother ate the most asparagus out of all of us and all he could finish before feeling full was 2 ½ deep-fried asparagus, which was probably only a few ounces.



Next, we wandered into the Arts and Crafts section of the festival to look at the local jewelry, clothing, music, paintings, and furniture. I really admired a lot of the stuff that was out there and some of the intricacies and detail put into these things that were absent from the mass productions of Forever 21, Charlotte Russe, and H&M. I was really tempted to buy one and ended up purchasing this really pretty green and gold necklace and earring combo from this one vendor called Chrevan Art Glass for about $20. We met up with our parents for a bit, who told us that there wasn’t much to see in the Home and Kitchen area, which made me kind of sad because the large building made it look like as if there was a huge convention going on inside.



My brother and I then looked around at the other food vendors but were sad that we couldn’t try anything we saw since we were so full from lunch. We came across Mediterranean kebobs, lumpias, frozen ice cream, huge bags of kettle corn. In the Home and Kitchen section of the festival, there were chef demonstrations but we decided not to stick around for those since we were still too full from the asparagus that looked so little that ended up being too much. In there, we had some free samples of Mexican chicken, saw a yogurt drink that we hadn’t seen since we were kids, and got to look at strange vendors that involved termite extermination.

Afterwards, we went around outside to try different flavors of dip this one vendor had and different flavors of cashews, pistachios, and almonds. However, the most amazing food vendor of them all was this one station that sold gigantic drumsticks and meat breasts. I don’t know what animal they were from but I kid you not, these things were massive. We first saw this really tiny Filipino girl eating this massive drumstick that was bigger than her waist, and I wondered where on earth she found something like that. Then, we found the place that sold it, and knew there was no way we could eat it even if we wanted to. Who knew that asparagus would count as an entire meal.



At some point, my brother and I got into this long conversation about Wall-E when he mentioned that he wished he could take one of the golf carts that were parked by the grass to drive around the festival instead of walk. I launched into this whole Wall-E rant about how our lives today are so dependent on technology and Wall-E displays. Just seeing the way people are so dependent on it during the movie made me want to walk around even more, but I went into this whole rant on how the movie also gave an incredibly optimistic message that even after all this time in the movie that humans were dependent on technology, deep down, we appreciate the Earth we’re given and if given the right time and opportunity, we want to live life on Earth to the fullest extent. We want to do something about the Earth we were given. Somewhere in-between all of this, my brother wanted to go on the boat. Don’t ask. It was worth ten tickets, and I said it wasn’t worth driving a little raft around the Stockton port.

OK. Moving on from that mini-rant, after almost circling the entire festival for the second time and having a general idea where everything was, my dad called saying that it was time for us to go. My brother and I began to panic because we had 14 tickets left (4 were spent on drinks). We decided to go back to Asparagus Alley to buy all the stuff we could for no good reason. My brother picked out a burrito and I picked out a bowl pasta that none of us could eat. We had 2 tickets left that my brother spent on water even though I was already carrying 1.5L worth of water in my bag. I was hoping to find Alpha Phi Omega volunteers at the sandwich/burrito station that I volunteered at yesterday but didn’t see any of them there.

We met up with my parents in front of the Home and Kitchen area of the festival before we decided to head out. My mom and I argued about what to do with the pasta and the burrito so we decided to head back to campus to drop it off and bring the stuff I packed from last night to the car. What blew my mind this entire time was that my brother had NEVER seen my room this entire year and I was so sad that last night I took down most of the decorations on my wall. What he saw today was just a sad representation of what my room was like this entire year. Anyhow, the stuff that I packed all to moved to my car in about five minutes, which was much easier than I thought.

Then, I gave my entire family a two-minute tour of the downstairs of Alpha Phi. After that, we hopped back into the car and drove off to 8-Mile Road. My mom was dropped off at Ross while my dad, brother, and I went to Borders. Before we went into Borders, my dad pointed out a Mercedes SUV that looked exactly like the one we were driving. I ignored him until something happened later. Meanwhile, in the store, I managed to grab the May 2009 issue of Vogue with the 9 models on the cover. For the next hour, we got sort of bored wandering around the store, picking out things to look at when I found this:



I took several pictures because I thought it was so hilarious. I want this book but I don’t want to pay for this because I don’t believe a thing that Tyra says about believing in yourself, and even you can become a Victoria’s Secret supermodel.



We got bored enough that my dad and I walked over to Ross while my brother decided to move the Mercedes there. On the way walking there, my brother drove up next to us and told us that he went to the wrong car because apparently, his car keys unlocked not only his own car, but that other identical Mercedes SUV my dad mentioned earlier. My brother said he accidentally got into that car and realized he was in the wrong car before having to scramble out to find our car.

Ross was a semi-successful trip for me, wonderful for my dad, but failed for my brother and mom. I looked for shorts but couldn’t find any that I was willing to wear or the right size. I found three shirts that my dad and brother immediately approved of the moment I tried them on over the shirt I already wore. I’ve never received approval of what I wore so quickly so that had to be a good thing. Out of the three, I only chose two because I had to focus on finding shorts that fit right. My dad ended up buying a couple of shirts and my brother wasn’t in the mood so we wandered to Kohl’s where my parents eventually met up with us. To our surprise, my mom did not buy a single thing from Ross because she complained that she couldn’t fit into their clothes. Uh, oh.

However, she had slightly the same problem at Kohl’s but not as bad. She ended up getting something, which I strongly encouraged her to because I felt that if she didn’t, her self-confidence would be hammered by the fact she couldn’t fit into the clothes like she did a few months ago.

After Kohl’s we decided to head over to China Palace Restaurant. Before went inside, my dad has this obsession with Hollywood Video and their DVD deals so went in there, made a fuss as usual in the DVD section as we always do, and ended up walking out with the latest Indiana Jones movie and Babylon A.D. My dad likes Vin Diesel films. He’s kind of weird. Two funny things that came out of this was that my dad asked me if I was cold and if I needed his jacket. I told him I didn’t need it, and remembered I brought a light sweater with me and pulled it out of my bag. From my dad’s perspective, I’ve been pulling out things from this bag of mine for the entire day, so we had a good laugh about how it seemed like my bag was just like that one Volkswagen commercial where people kept coming out of the car more than what the car could actually hold. My bag just seemed to defy the laws of space because I was pulling out more than what it looked like it could hold.

Anyway, at China Palace, the food there was wonderful and the place was legitimately and authentically Chinese unlike the Oriental Buffet my parents were really fond of. We also heard that Martin Yan was actually in the building at the time we were there because of a wedding reception. I didn’t know who he was and my parents didn’t seem too roused up by that information so I figured he was a Z-list celebrity from my parent’s generation.



Over dinner, we talked about so many things like how our family used to go on vacations so easily, different types of retirement, and what was seen on the Discovery Channel and National Geographics about human longevity. I went into Pre-Pharm mode and explained as non-scientifically as possible the process of why humans genome doesn’t sustain longevity. Pretty much, I summed up three months of Genetics lecture into a three-minute speech on DNA structure and chromosome replication. If my genetics professor heard me say all of this, she would have murdered me because for some reason, I confused the word ‘kinetochore’ with ‘telomere’ the entire time. I felt there was something wrong with the word, kinetochore, being used, but I realized long after the conversation was over that I was trying to say telomere, not kinetochore.

Then, at the end of the dinner, my parents suddenly became really flustered that Martin Yan was in the next room, and that was then they explained to me that the restaurant chain of Yan Can Cook was actually owned by this chef. After trying to find my brother and mom (who were actually in the bathroom), we all went over to ask Martin Yan if we could have a picture with him. I thought it would be bad to interrupt him but then I told my mom, ‘We’re never going to see these people again. Let’s be rude.’ And for once, she agreed so she asked him in the middle of his conversation with an entire table of people if we could have a picture with him. He and this other lady (his wife?) joked with us saying that a picture with him would cost us $10. He was super-friendly and shook hands with all of us. My dad was so awkward though and kept repeating that he watched a lot of his shows on TV. I almost wanted to reply that I’ve never seen his show but I have seen his restaurant (in McCarthy Ranch closed down and was taken over by Red Kwali) but I didn’t. Anyway, he was really friendly, open, and charismatic—totally what you would hope to expect from a guy who has his own TV show and restaurant chain.



On the way back, I was a bit sad that the day came to an end. It started out on a really bad note because I was really frustrated with the way everyone was arguing earlier. However, in the car, I gushed on and on about how I was so happy that my parents came up and that even though the day began poorly, it ended fantastically. I was really left almost on a high because I was having so much fun with them. I didn’t want to go back to the reality of school, tests, and finals, because I enjoyed it that much.

I really do have amazing parents and brother. I don’t know what I’d do without them in my life.

I Love Longs Drugs

After sending out probably over 20 resumes and applying to Walgreens, Target, Costco, Sav-Mart, Rite-Aid, Wal-Mart, Safeway, Stanford Hospital, Kaiser Permanente, random advertisings on Craigslist, going through RX Insider, and local hospitals from Mountain View to Milpitas to Hayward and even to South San Francisco, all I received in return was either silence or that they chose another candidate for the pharmacy technician job position because of this reason:

I'm sorry, you don't have the experience required for the job.

That was it. I had it. I'm going to graduate in 4 weeks and I'm still jobless. I had to go home this recent weekend already to attend Esther's open casket viewing. So, I might as well continue my job hunt. but at this point I was even willing to drive to South San Francisco if I could be a pharm tech so I did something I had never done on Friday afternoon when I got back home from school. I went onto Longs Drugs, typed in my zip code, and found the closest 40 Longs Drugs in a 20-mile radius of my home. I picked up the phone to make the phone call to 22 different Longs Drugs and said:

Me: "Hi, I was wondering if the pharmacy manager is available at the moment?"

Reply: "Yes, hold on a moment/Call back at ____."

Me: "When is the best time I should call back? / Thank you. Hi pharmacy manager, I was wondering if you had any current or future openings for pharmacy technicians?"

Reply: "No, goodbye. / Not at the moment, but we are hiring in June. / You could try the _____ location. / Call the hiring district on Homestead. / Actually, we might be looking for someone. Why don't you come in and fill out an application?"

After taking notes of what happened with each phone call at each location of Longs Drugs, I narrowed down the stores with the only chances of me getting hired...which was only like 5 out of the 22 I called. By the time I got to the 22nd Longs Drugs, I'm getting tired and my brother is wanting to go to the mall. And only 3 of those Longs Drugs asked anything about me beyond the 'hiring in June or a later month' response. My brother finally made the phone call to his gal friend about her parents being pharmacists and if they could help me out. That ultimately fell through as well. The next day, I printed out three copies of my resume and revised huge chunks of it that I realized the career counselor at UOP did not pay much attention to.

I was worried at this point. Really worried. I don't have any experience of being a pharmacy technician and I have no idea what to tell the pharmacists when I knew they were going to ask about past experiences. My parents encouraged me to go to Gilroy to them but I told them that I had to drive to a few Longs Drugs to fill out some applications. A new Coach handbag seemed tempting in my mind but I had to finish this. This was my original plan and goal:

Drive to 3 Longs Drugs, fill out 3 applications, and come back home by 2:ooPM.

So my goal began to fall through when I drove to the first Longs Drugs on my list. The pharmacy technician there was super nice and tried to help me out but the pharmacy manager was gone for the day even though she told me to come in to fill out an application, and the store itself ran out of job applications. I left my resume with them anyway.

Now, here's the good part. Yahoo Maps decided to taunt me by taking me to Homestead Road by giving me the names of 3 streets that did not exist. As a result, I had to call my parents asking them how to get to Homestead Road, because that's where the Longs Drugs Hiring District was. After driving around in circles to find Concord Drive that doesn't exist, trying to call my brother to give me directions but he didn't pick up, and calling my parents who were on their way to Gilroy, I managed to find eventually make it to Homestead Road. Before I continue on my time at Homestead Road, this is the conversation that went on between me and the person on the phone that worked in the hiring district.

Him: "Bring in your resume and we can see where you're needed at which Longs Drugs in this region.
Me: "What time are you open tomorrow?"
Him: "Uhh tomorrow, 10AM to 10PM."
Me: So I can come in tomorrow anytime between that?"
Him: "Umm, yeah."

Slightly disheveled and upset that it took me so long to find Homestead Road, I go inside and spoke to the pharmacy technician.

Me: "Hi, I heard the hiring district is here?"
Pharm Tech: "Yeah, it's closed though. You have to come back Monday. It'll be open then."
Awkward silence.
Me: "OK, I'll figure it out. Thank you."

I turn and was about half-way through the store on my way out when I realized, why don't I just leave my resume here so they can hand it over? I turn around and go back to the pharmacy and just as I go there, I have to wait for the pharmacy technician to finish speaking to one of the patients. For some reason, the pharmacy manager in the back noticed me for the 2nd time and came out asking if there was anything I needed help with. Just when I was about to ask about leaving my resume, I forgot my question so I quickly tried to recover asking:

Me: "Hi, I was wondering if you had any current or future openings for a pharmacy technician?"

Ugh, I could not believe I just asked that. I asked that on the phone yesterday when I called this location and I didn't get the response I wanted. A brief pause of silence settles in and then the pharmacy manager replied:

Pharmacy Manager: "Actually, I think we might need someone. How much experience do you have? Are you still in school? When are you available to work? Do you have your license?"

My jaw was about to fall out of my mouth. Are you kidding me? Oh my goodness, I could not believe what I was hearing but I had to answer honestly and expected the worst. I have no experience, sir, but I really need some experience. That's what I wanted to say but I couldn't so I thought of everything I could to sell myself as a candidate. I'm going to be here all of next year so this won't be just a 2 or 3-month job. I'm going to available on weekdays, weeknights. I can do full-time or part-time. Whatever is most convenient for this pharmacy. And his reply?

Pharmacy Manager: "Let's get the store manager here and have you take the personality test. If you pass that, we can put you through a drug test because it's protocol here and then we can deal with paperwork. We can definitely use you."

I literally wanted to jump up and scream for joy. I'm totally indebt to this pharmacy because they're so willing to give someone out of the blue like me a chance to prove that I can be a good technician despite my lack of experience. I wanted to thank him and jump everywhere and mess things up to show happy I was, but I don't think that would've left the best impression so I simply thanked him and left.

And when I walked out the store, I got to my car, and saw the car keys lying in my front seat.

For the first time in my life, I was so excited about getting a job.

For the first time in my life, I locked myself out of my car. FML.

Initial Goal	Final Goal
Visit 3 Longs Drugs Fill out 3 job applications Give away 3 resumes Be home by 2PM	Visited 2 Longs Drugs Filled out 1 job application Gave away 2 resumes Got home at 4:30PM GOT HIRED!!!

=)

ET

I don't know what to think any more.

I found out at 1:40AM. I haven't even spoken to her since high school but all I can think about now is just how to forget this semester or this year ever happened. The moment I was told about this, the first two words that came to my mind was 'not again'.

I'll come up with something more useful to say next time. I told myself this wasn't a place for this kind of stuff but I don't know where else to put this. Not Facebook although it seems to be convenient for everyone else. One of her friends, Johnny Lazzarini, wrote this on his Facebook:

and i sort of shut down. my bedroom sort of swirled around like somebody had just punched me in the face u know? i had dealt with death loooads of times in my life, pets, family members that kind of thing right. but everybody loses a grandparent at some point, everybody has to face the fact that their dog was hit by a car. we can get over that kind of thing, we eventually understand that thats just sort of how it goes. but when esther died, i realized that what had actually happened meant more then the fact that i couldn't share my life with her anymroe. when she went to college, none of us stayed in the greatest contact with her, and it wasn't just her either. when everybody moved away to start their new lives outside of hs, we really missed out on the part where your supposed to make new friends but keep the old ones you know? well when she died, everybody that knew her felt a nasty shock. how could we miss this? how could we let a change in location ruin all of the relationships we had built up over the years.

i feel like esther's death is sort of making us realize how important it is to cherish each other, and the time that we spend with one another. esther showed me how precious time really is. in an instant her life was claimed by a heart attack, nobody saw it coming. suddenly i wished i could have hung out with her for more then i had, all i would have wanted was a few minutes to tell her how i felt about her and everything she meant to me. a few days ago it was esther, but who knows what tomorrow could bring? could it be me? or you? it is SO important to never forget bonds that you've built. every day you miss talking to somebody who was close to you, you grow further apart. and one day, like i did last night when i recieved the news of esther's passing, you'll look back on how lost everybody is and remind yourself as to how easy it would have been to just make a phone call or send a message.

and, sometimes, ignorance is bliss. i'm not sure why she had a heart attack, i kinda dont want to know, feel me? then i'd just want somebody to blame for her death, whether it was esther or somebody else or god. really that's only going to make mourning her worse, and esther isn't the sort of person who would want us to feel bad about her leaving us. she would want us to keep living life to the fullest, just as she did, living every day like it could be our last so we have no regrets. esther was beautiful inside and out, and the fact that somebody so fantastic could be gone in an instant made me realize how important each and every one of you is to me in the same way. instead of being saddened by her death, let's all celebrate esther's life and remember all the good times we shared. and from now on, to show our respect, let's try our hardest to stay in good contact with each other.

I don't want to think about things like this so soon. If I could, I want to go back to being 15 years old again and getting an A in Algebra 2 be the most difficult thing going on in my life.

Childhood Obsessions: Part 2: Food

I'm not sure how many parts of my childhood I feel like documenting over the next couple journal entries but one thing I want to make sure I had down were traditions before I forget them. These occured during my childhood that faded away over time either because I had grown out of the traditions or my parents and grandparents didn't see the need to continue them any longer because of how our lives had changed since we came to America.

One thing that I do want to remember from my elementary school experiences was how I treated food. Like in my previous entry, I had a great dislike of Chinese foods because of the huge amount I had to consume all the time yet at the same time adored the McDonald's that my parents fed me twice a day along with the cakes and doughnuts I got for breakfast and snacks. It truly is some kind of miracle that I didn't develop Type II Diabetes but as a result, I do have much bigger problems with digestion and going to the bathroom more than anyone else in my family does, along with other digestive tract problems I won't disclose here.

One of the most magical things I discovered when I was young was gum. I treated gum differently then than I do now. This was because yesterday, I bought a pack of gum that I hadn't tried in the longest time and this was the first brand of gum I ever tried (and swallowed).



After this past year of going through countless packets of the endless flavors of Stride, 5, Dentyne, and Eclipse, the moment I popped a piece of Wrigley's in my mouth, the soft creamy sensation sent me straight back to 2nd grade when I cycled around the driveways of the town houses in San Jose as my super old grandparents stood outside and yelled at their friends in Chinese to stay for a few more hours. It was one of the most nostalgic feelings I had in the longest time and it made me miss a lot of the traditions I had in my childhood, which is totally a whole different entry. So this moment solidified that I will not be satisfied with any other gum unless if it's the cheap 25 cent gum from Wrigley's and it will actually stay in my mouth for more thatn 5 minutes.

The second childhood comfort food that I had was one thing that my mom often made then but doesn't make much of anymore. It was the combination of having Bovril and porridge. Since the whole Mad Cow Disease fiasco in Europe, Bovril had to change the composition of its extract from yeast instead of bovine. The extract would be added to the porridge and I would drink bowls of this at a time like it was water. It was the one Chinese dish I liked as a child, and the repeated exposure to Bovril made it that to this day, I cannot have rice or porridge unless it's been overdosed with condiments.



The next thing on the list was sugar doughnuts and Chinese pastries that my mom often brought back from work because the someone at work always brought too many in, and because my parents really struggled with finances when we first came to the States, all of these sorts of foods were inexpensive and made it easy for us to fill our stomachs up quickly before we could manage to eat out all the time like we do now.

Despite all of the different flavors of doughnuts that I encountered during high school and even the Krispy Kreme phase, my absolute favorite is still the sugar doughnut, followed by the cheap glazed kind. Not the kind that Krispy Kreme kind where the layers were perfect, but the kind where the glaze fell off the doughnut when you picked it up and the layer was barely noticeable on the piece itself.



Then, came the Chinese pastries that my mom often ordered every time we went to Ranch 99 Supermarket. The Swiss roll came in many different flavors like vanilla and strawberry. I was always arguing with my mom at ends about which one to pick because my mom preferred vanilla, while I preferred strawberry. She usually ended up having her way because it was her money.



There are two other ones I signficantly remember: flavored bread and this one cake where one side was chocolate, the other side was white, and was sealed in the middle by a thin layer of vanilla cream. I remember always eating the chocolate side first (or not eating it at all) and then save the vanilla part as the best for last. I never liked the flavored bread that much as a kid so I never ended up snacking on it like my mom hoped I would.

An honorable mention to this list of childhood comfort foods I had was the white pomfret that my mom often ordered grilled from the Chinese supermarket. This is still probably my favorite fish because of the influences I had from my childhood. Chinese dinner would be the best in the entire world when the white pomfret was involved and it was something I always requested from my parents whenever I could.



Lastly, was the classic McDonald's Happy Meal that never let me down. I always had to get the toy that came with the package and the cheery M signs never ceased to make my day. It was the standard: hamburger/cheeseburger, fries, and a small drink that I had for lunch AND after school. I would also go to McDonald's or Burger King for breakfast (although BK was more of a breakfast tradition) and try to collect as many of the Monopoly pieces as I possibly could hoping one day to win something greater than a medium-sized soft drink. That never happened. However, I remember there being this one McDonald's in Sunnyvale that I would go to all the time as a child and everyone in there remembered me by name and had my order ready before my dad could pull the car up to the drive-thru window.



I remember also arguing with my parents every time I ever decided to get the 6-piece chicken nuggets. My parents would only get me Sweet-and-Sour sauce, which I was accustomed to until my friends in elementary school introduced to me BBQ sauce. For some reason, my parents didn't like that and again, they usually ended up having it their way where I ended up dipping all my food in Sweet-and-Sour sauce but when they're not around, the BBQ sauce returns. Another quirk I had as a child was also removing the pickle in the center of the hamburger whenever I could. I never liked vegetables in my sandwiches for some reason, and having a pickle in there disrupted the balance.

McDonald's breakfast was also a slice of heaven especially since I every time I went there, I would have my predictable combination of 1 Apple Pie and 2 hashbrowns or just as many hashbrowns as I could handle. I loved both Burger King's and McDonald's and often couldn't decide between the two, but I was never sold on the pancakes and the Egg McMuffin's. I felt sick when I ate them as a child so my options were pretty limited then and it frustrated my parents seeing that I preferred just a pile of hashbrowns rather than a sandwich, the same way that I preferred a pile of French fries over a hamburger (even though I enjoyed both just as much).



In addition, the French Toast sticks at Burger King was also another comfort food, and those are something I'm sorely missing today, which is why I probably compensate every time I go to Denny's. I always end up ordering French toast no matter how bad it was for me. And I always ran out of syrup.